15 Days...

Hello, Hello. Hope this post finds you all preparing to enjoy some festive holiday fun. Or you are medicated enough to get through it anyway. Things at the Powell/Thompson household are as busy as always. Big Bill is home from Union Hospital sporting a brand new knee. He is adjusting to the pain and will recover well I am sure. Big Deb is well, Big Deb. For those of you that know her, I am sure you can figure out what I mean by that. Our dear Temperance continues to amaze us. She is just doing as well could ever hope for. The picture above is her and Daddy playing with the bubbles in grandmas sink. She loves baths!

Starting early!

At dinner in Indy, Tempe was stuffed in the wine bucket by her adoring father. She did not really mind it! Ryan always put Jasper in random places when he was little, because he was so small and he fit in some pretty funny places. Tempe is just getting the same treatment that Jasper did. I am sure that she will be put on the meat platter just as Jasper was when we get to RoAnn's house for Christmas. I will post the picture!

She is smiling and giggling all the time! I love it!

Bedford Friends... if the stars align, we will be moving back to Bedford in the late summer. We have made an offer on a house that we really want. It is in the same neighborhood and exactly where we want to be. I am so hopeful! I love the house and cant wait to get out of my moms. She is a wonderful mom and grandma, but she is a terror to live with. She missed her calling. She should have been a drill Sargent or a health code inspector.

I am sure that Ryan was misbehaving in this picture.
So, down to the nitty-gritty. Ryan leaves for Afghanistan in 15 days.... 15 DAYS. Ahh crud, that is the first time I let myself count days. I know that we decided this because it is what is best for us as a family, but still, I wish there was an easier way to make enough money for us to survive without sending him over there. One of the bright sides to this is that he really does want to go. He is 100% made for the job he is going to be doing over there. He mailed his stuff over there today so it seems a little more real now. I had lunch with his boss and feel a little better about it. He was just like Ryan and it made me feel better about it somehow. I know I can do it, I am just dreading being lonely. I hate that Ry is going to miss so much of Tempe's first year, Jasper's Birthday and I really think that Jasper will be crawling when Ryan gets back. He is so close. But I know that this will help us out so much as a family, that I am willing to live without him for a while so that we can have some financial freedom one day.

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Every Hour..

This is my Miracle.

Over the last few weeks I have felt at peace about Tempe. More than thankful every day. There is not a day, or even an hour that goes by when I am not aware that this little girl is living proof that God is out there. Proof that the universe listens to us. Everyone that we see reassures us that she is fine, but having a doctor back you up always feels good.

So the big news is that we had a Neurology appointment yesterday and it was great. Really it was more than great...The doctor could not see anything bad going on. Now I have been through this enough to know that things in the brain are a mystery, but I also know that Jasper was showing signs of problems from day one. Tempe is not!!! She is perfect. Again, I will not be naive, I know that we still have a long road and we have to keep an eye on her... BUT STILL!!! Seriously.... she is perfect.




We know that we have been blessed with a miracle. This child was very sick. Not just "oh she is sick", more like, "she may not make the transport", or "she may not make it of ECMO", or "her brain damage might not let her make it on her own" sick. Its crazy and amazing to think that she is mine. That I have been trusted to raise and love this angel.

So here is my "Thank you" to all of you who prayed for her. I know that people all over the world saw my posts and also sent her emails and I hope that get to see that there is power in prayer. Power that I may never understand, but I don't think I need to. I know and trust that we are all pieces of a much larger puzzle.


Thank you for asking God to let me keep this baby, for trusting me with this amazing baby.  Thank you for adding Tempe to your prayer lists, sharing our story with your churches and your friends and keeping us in your hearts.  I am forever thankful. 

Jasper was not crazy about her at first!






My beautiful Girl, all dressed up in my wedding dress.

Much love,

Tessa

Home Sweet Home....

Ok, Is she the baby from Ally McBeal? So funny, the way I took this makes her head look HUGE!!! She is doing so well at home. Eating and pooping like a champ. Really there is not a whole lot to report, she is doing "typical" baby stuff. She is my little miracle. Ryan is home now and it is great. He still has to be at work for training, but I am so glad he is home. We spent the weekend at home and surrounded by friends. Ryan got the biggest hug from Jasper and also got to hug his baby girl. He also got to change dirty pants! We are going to do our best to make the most out of the next few months before he leaves for Afghanistan. We carved pumpkins with Brandy and the kids, went to a get together at Erin's where Ryan at 5 bowls of Chili (not really).

A little note of thanks....My friends and family are amazing. I would not have made it through the three weeks at Riley with out them. It also amazes me how many people we have become closer to. and how you see the true fabric of people when crisis comes around. We had some nurses and docs that we would not have made it without (Becky, Dom, Jenny, Sara H, Dr. T & Dr. M, Dr. J. A., Lara, Heather, Nicole and her lifesaver gummies, Scooter, Tracy, and the baby stealer). They made a very scary and emotional time tolerable and even at times fun. I think we forget sometimes that Nurses and Doctors have to provide emotional support on the front lines before family and friends get there. Our nurses were our front line. Very caring and supportive. Dominique and Jenny, I love you both. You will forever have a place in my heart. So my point... Thank your nurses and Doctors. They do care and take on your hurt. So, Thanks.

Ok, token picture of Jasper.... (and Albert)

He is such

 a turkey.  He crawled(note CRAWLED) in the shower, with his clothes on while I was taking a shower.  It was so funny.  I posted a picture of him on Facebook cleaning the shower after I stepped out.  He first put his little red car under the shower curtain.  I was ok with that.  Then I looked down and saw a little Jasper head under the curtain.  I laughed so hard!  I was thankful he did not have his ears on, that would have not been funny.  But it was since I did not have his ears on yet! 

Well, I have more pics to upload, so it may be a post heavy day. I think I owe ya! I've been a little busy.

Tessa Lou

Colors...

It just so happened that I looked outside today only to realize that its fall.  The colors everywhere made me want to grab my camera and some people of the street and go shoot(photos people not animals).  Oh, I forgot how the hospital keeps you from realizing what goes on outside of your little world.  I had a friend let me know about the miners in Chile by facebook message, or that one would have passed me by too. 

So now for the good stuff.  My baby is SO strong and amazing.  She is practice nursing and loving it.  She latched with no hesitation.  That was an amazing step for us, as we worry about the Neuro stuff that showed me that she has the want to eat by mouth.  Hopefully she will get the stamina to eat by mouth soon. 

Ry is up here with me for the weekend.  He picked my up last night in Plainfeild.  My girls broke me out of the hospital to do some needed shoe shopping.  My feet are screaming up here with bad shoes and a long walk.  So, they took me to Metropolis and we ate and shopped and enjoyed life on the outside for a few minutes.  I have to take him to the airport sometime on Sunday, but I'm not sure when.  All I know is that I will have a vehicle and that makes me very happy!  

Well, hopefully I will get some more pictures us soon.  (and not ones of random people and fall settings)
Happy Weekend to you all....

Little Hurdles

Well, things are finally looking a little better. Not much has changed, and believe it or not, that is a good thing. She is eating well, gaining weight, and pooping. All things we want to see. She is working on bringing her breathing down to a respectable rate, but all things with time.
As far as the MRI drama, it is a waiting game. We will not know anything remarkable until she starts developing more. We are just praying that she just keeps developing and eating and growing. She is our miracle. She is such a strong little critter with just as much drive as her big brother. I know that the world has big things in store for her and I will let her determine what she wants to do with her world.

Well I am up here on my own this week trying to prepare for Ryans 2 week travel. He will be in Michigan from the 17th until the 30th doing training. We are trying to arrange childcare for Jasper and boy is that a chore. We might just find a temporary day care up here and keep him at the RMD House with me in the evening. Its not ideal, but really what is? We just hate to burden anyone. I am hoping and praying that something works out. My mom is getting antsy to get back to work, so we have to get him out of her house and up here (or somewhere!!)

Miss Tempe is really a wonderful baby. So my update is this... We are waiting. Just trying to make some milestones and do our best to get her healthy and ready to go home. She still has some little hurdles to overcome, but I know she can do it. I just keep going and trying to make every day a good one. We have passed up the bad days. I am not going to let any more bad days come my way. I have too many things to be thankful for to give the bad days the upper hand. Right? Seriously... I am blessed with an amazing husband, amazing friends and family, and children that are stronger than I can ever be. I am blessed. Sometimes an occasional bad day reminds us that we need to just be thankful for what we do have and the love that we blessed with.

I had to throw a new picture of Jasper up, he painted pumpkins with his girlfriend Gaige. Half naked painting is the new thing...
Much love,
Tessa

The News...

Well first, the bulk of the update ...is that today was a tornado. 
A dear friend visited and I needed her hug and support. Good
My family brought Jasper.  Great
Jasper cried when I left the room.  Good ( I needed that)
Tempe's MRI results came back.  Bad
Tempe is still off her vent.  Good
Tempe is not eating very well.  Bad
We are spinning in circles.  Bad

We are pretty much lost.  Even though we have done some of this before, this is just not getting any easier.  We just want so bad to be at home cuddling our precious children and read stories to Jasper.  I want to nurse my baby and not pump all day.  We want to not worry about MRI's and EEG's.  We want a break.  We want our kids to be healthy and thriving.  Do we want too much? Are we greedy?

Sorry if this is a depressing post, but no matter how much lexapro I take, no matter how much I try to talk myself into being "super Tessa", today has sucked.  I am the Queen of optimism.  I am usually the one telling everyone to cheer up and find the light in the day.  Today my light is dim.  I just want someone to give me the light today.  Give me a reason to be excited and motivate me to keep chugging.  I know that we think that God and the universe does not give us more than we can take on, but seriously... What is this?  I know that I am the one who thinks that I was chosen to take care of special kids like Jasper, but I never thought that Tempe would have to run the same race.  I never thought that Tempe would be challenged more than Jasper.  I never wanted her to struggle the same way that he does.  He is amazing, but his road is bumpy and challenging.  I wanted her to be is support, his cheerleader, and his best friend. 

As for the MRI, I don't want to get too medical, but it showed evidence of a stroke on one side of her brain stem.  Pretty significant damage.  We really don't know what that means other than her very high risk for Cerebral Palsy, and significant damage to the section that controls motor function. 

Well friends, keep praying and thinking of us.  I know that you all are, and we thank you for that.  We need more miracles.  We need strength.

Tessa

Pics of Temperance

As promised.  We are going to bed early so we can get up there early.  So my post will be brief. 
She is still fighting, and fighting hard.  Hoping and Praying that she comes of the ECMO circuit tomorrow.  No promises, but we have a lot of hope.  Still not out of the woods yet, so we are still praying very hard.  Her lungs and heart have to want to keep working for her to be successful of the ECMO Circuit.  We are also praying that her Neurological function is better than what it seems.  We really have no idea what it is for sure, but she has to potential to have a lot of damage from lack of Oxygen.  We know what that did to Jasper and how far he has come over the last two years so he is a good example of what good therapist and determination can mean. 

We appreciate all the love that we are feeling for everywhere.  This little girl is a blessing, just like Jasper is.  We have reconnected, connected with so many people that care.  I know that she will have the same light that Jasper does.  He just has a way to make people love him, but at the same time he can give people a different view of self and how they can impact the world.  I know that seems heavy for a two year old, but I know that it is true.  I know Tempe is doing the same thing.  The following are some pics so you know who you are thinking and praying for. 

This is at Bloomington Hospital right after birth. 

This is up here at Riley.  The two red tubes at the top Right had of the picture are her ECMO blood veins.  That is what is doing the work of her heart and lungs. 

 You can see that we put a picture of Jasper up in her bed so he would be there with her.  It is behind her giraffe. 

Close up of her Beautiful little mug.

Beautiful little hand.

Keep on Chugging

So we are still here.  That is huge.  We are working to get to having Tempe do more work and the machine do less.  This is a very slow moving process as it should be.  We have to make sure that her lungs and heart are ready to do the work.  I know that a lot of of you have wrote love notes to her, but we wont get them until Monday.  We did not get in the the Ronald McDonald house tonight so we are camping in the waiting room.  Luckily its not that bad in here tonight.  Normally it can be a circus, but its pretty calm tonight.  (For now!) 

I will take pictures of her tomorrow.  I have held off becuase I think seeing a baby on life support is very scarey.  I know that it does not bother some people but, when you have had one child on life support already, you know how scarey it is.  You know that a machine is what is keeping your baby alive and it is hard to want to document that.   But in the hope that she keeps chugging, I want to share with you her beauty.  She has the same natural light that Jasper has and I know that people are praying for her all over the world.  Its has been amazing to see how many people care.  I saw a 2 friends that I have not seen in years, becuase they wanted us to know that they were here to help us out if we needed it. 

Jasper is keeping my mom busy.  He has mastered tearing apart her cabinets, and as Im sure some of you know that has to be keeing my mom on her toes.  He is such a strong boy. 

Well, I need to attempt to sleep. 
Much love,
Tessa

Love Notes for Tempe

As I was trying to fall asleep last night I thought that I wanted to read more to Tempe while we sit in there with her. My friend Amy has sent us emails through the Riley site and they print them off and deliver them to us.  So in my head that is the best thing you guys can do for us... please write Tempe note of encouragement and I will read them to her at her bed side.  She needs to know that she is loved and strong and can keep fighting.  I know you are are praying and I promise we feel it.  Good things are happening slowly but surely. 
http://rileychildrenshospital.com/information-desk/patient-email.jsp  Just email Temperance Thompson and they will deliver it to us. 

Much love,
Tessa and Ryan

Page for Tempe

I could not get FB to take my paste of my document from word, so this was easeir than typing a new note while pumping....
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prays for Tempe and our family.  I am devoting as much time as I can to being in the room with her and trying to give all my love to her.  My friends are updating on here for me so that those of you that are far away can keep us in your prayers.  To my friends I have not texted or called back, please know that I love you all, I just can’t get back to everyone.  It is really hard to talk about this stuff, so Brandy is doing it for me.  She has been up here and heard what the Docs have to say so I don’t have to run through it all. That girl and Lacie are my rocks. 
 This baby girl is fighting for her life.  I don’t want to get technical or to medical, because it is not important.   What is important is that this machine is giving her body time to heal, the details are too much to describe.  I could touch her and kiss her head today, and that was amazing.  I needed my body to connect to hers, so she could feel that her mommy is with her, loving her, and wanting her in my arms. 
If you pray, please pray for us.  If you meditate or sit in silence, or whatever is your practice, please think of us.  I know that God and the entire universe listens when we put our hearts into it. 
Ryan and I are doing the best we can.  While this is a road we have been on before, it is a much different story.  We want what is best for her and at this point only time will tell.  I would write more, but my brain is not wanting to put together my thoughts very well.   We can’t thank you all enough for your love and support.  The docs and Nurses we had at Bloomington Hospital and up here are amazing, caring and thoughtful people, and we would have been lost without them.